Pemikiran Masa Lampau

The unknown obstacles I have to take. The regrets I have saved,--to face those obstacles. Lord, one question to you: "What is the meaning of the happiness?" Since I was a kid, I do always ask that question, as if I might not feel the happiness.

When my friends had already found what they want to protect, in here,... shit, I envy to them, God! I don't even have anything I can admire. Right now, I don't have a place to come back. I haven't found out a reason to live in tomorrow. God, please, can You show me what my future looks like. One thing I know, everyone must fight for their two worlds. Either they fight for their own heroism or the reality where they live. They learn to feel the pain in the process. So then, I can see, there is no meaning to look back. I just want to see my unknown future!

God, how long I live this kind of the pathway? I seem I lose a balance, the balance in between hope and melancholy. Because of that, I seem I'm too old to meet my old friends very gently.

I just want to ask to future me, "Hey, dude, do you still be the same, can you still smile? " One thing I know, every single second is the proof of the love since I was born and walked in this way. Tell me, my future me, I want to get the answer very fast. So then, when the shining morning comes to myself, I can say to me very proudly, "Great job!" Hopefully you can take my hand very tightly.

Dulu, semasa aku kecil, mungkin tak banyak orang-orang terdekat ketahui, aku suka menggambar denah rumah seperti ini. By the way, gambar tadi cuplikan dari "Detective Conan" episode 35, saat Ran Mouri hampir dibunuh oleh Pria Mumi Berkapak. Ending: "Hello, Mr My Yesterday". 

Puisi di atas merupakan pemikiran-pemikiran aku saat masih jadi pelajar sekolah, entah di tingkat SD, SMP, dan SMA (khususnya saat masih SMA).



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